Circumventing the ‘Sins of the Father Syndrome’

Now this is a touchy subject most Thieves with PhDs like to avoid, but need to address all the same.  The subject of “sowing and reaping,” or what I like to call the ‘Sins of the Father Syndrome,’ also referred to in street vernacular as the ‘Goes Around Comes Around’ principle.

The SOFS is a basic Biblical law that says: If one generation does something egregious, those sins can affect the next generation and unfortunately, oftentimes not in a good way.

Sort of like the three-generation Kennedy conundrum the clan has endured thanks to dear ole’ patriarch bootlegging Joe.

You do know that in the Bible Jacob was blessed even though he tricked his Dad Isaac into blessing him.  Let’s face it, clueless Esau probably deserved what he got, because the dude cared more about that bowl of lentils than he did about his birthright.

The difference between Esau and Thieves with PhDs is that when stealing from the elderly and claiming the inheritance of others for your own, in most cases the victims you’re depriving of what’s rightfully theirs usually couldn’t care less about lentils (which is why they were able to be ripped off  in the first place). And hard as it may be for you or your huge ego to accept, you ain’t Jacob.

So with that in mind, it’s imperative to work out some sort of protection for little 8-year-old Susie to make sure that college education fund you’ve sent to an offshore bank doesn’t end up being something you’ll regret stealing way back when Susie was still in nappies.

Most people might not realize it, but at the core, Thieves with PhDs have intentions that are basically pure.

Although burglary, deceit and financial murder look bad to most people, in due time the world will know that taking an old man’s life savings and changing his will to disown his children was actually done for the betterment of mankind.

Why, you ask?  Because the universe may not have publicly acknowledged it yet, but little Susie borders on genius and may very well be a future Einstein or the person who finally finds the cure for cancer.  To deprive a gifted child of the funds needed for the best education money can buy would be worse than throwing Joseph and his amazing Technicolor dream coat into a pit and leaving him for dead.

Think of it this way – sometimes what appears to be criminal is ultimately for the betterment of society, and in the end it evens out what started as an injustice with something good. At least that’s what inheritance hijackers should be telling themselves when the dark cloud of conviction makes it hard to process truth clearly.

Nevertheless, while hallucinatory justification concerning the necessity for occasional iniquity may do nothing to affect little Jacob – er, I mean Susie’s – future, as you yacht through the Hyannis Port of life it will keep you in a protective bubble of denial, much like Joe Kennedy Sr., hoping to God that what you’ve sown in others’ lives, you or your children will never reap in your own.

Here are a few pointers for the sinful fathers and mothers concerned about current offspring and future generations they’ve placed in a precarious position to be the recipient of an unwelcome visitor named Divine Retribution.

  • Focus on how necessary evils impact the greater good. A few examples:  slavery; Nagasaki and Hiroshima; colonoscopies; and stealing a family legacy to pay mortgages and tuition.
  • Disregard the Bible as a whole.  If that’s too drastic, just pick, choose and dismiss the biblical principals you don’t like.  Doesn’t Nancy Pelosi go to mass and believe in abortion?  Well it’s the same idea.  Pelosi would probably tell you that if you don’t believe in it, it can’t affect you.  Practice saying, “Yeah, but I don’t believe that,” or “That may be your truth, but it isn’t mine.” That should work.
  • If you do believe in God, attempt to twist His arm into agreeing with you. Jacob did it with a hairy hand – so forego the wax for a week and give it a college try on behalf of the future Dr. Susie. Reason with God; wrestle with God, so to speak.  You’re well practiced in the fine art of convincing, so let it fly.
  • The yang side of the yin is to visit a soothsayer to try to find out what the future holds and, if at all possible, head off disaster by investing the interest on the money you’ve stolen in some sort of bomb shelter or iron lung-type device.

If all that fails, just grit your teeth and bear it.  In life, “you win some and you lose some.” Regardless of the method and much like generations of bootlegging criminal Joe Kennedy Sr.’s family have come to find out, the winnings you managed to accrue and pocket, in the end, far outweigh the cost.

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2 Responses to Circumventing the ‘Sins of the Father Syndrome’

  1. Little Susie is a lucky future doctor, I must say. I wonder if she is aware the draconian lengths to which her parent(s) went to secure her Harvard Medical School tuition?
    In our case, there is no such second generation beneficiary. Well, yes and no. One of the main goals of our Family Inheritance Hog was world travel. Since the FIH’s daughter has chosen to put an entire continent plus an ocean between her and her mother. I suppose one could count the daughter as a recipient of the spoils. I mean, she gets to have her mother visit her in Greece, because Mom now has the means to travel to Greece, courtesy of Granny and Bah. Who, as you so aptly state, care nothing about lentils.

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