Ripe for the Picking
Presently we live in a time in history when aging baby boomers and their elderly parents are living longer. More and more Americans are surviving well into their eighties. Nowadays, when the elderly pass away, their children are at retirement age, and many are dependent upon bequeathed inheritance for sustenance in later life.
Parent-to-child inheritance traditionally includes lifetime savings made up of proceeds of cherished childhood homes, tax-sheltered annuities, and the monetary fruit of maternal and paternal labor and squirreled away pennies placed in low-interest bank accounts.
If one is clever enough, brazen enough, and merciless enough to find a way to claim and seize that which is not theirs, multitudinous treasures await.
This is especially true for individuals whose parents have nothing to leave in a will. For unfortunate people with poverty as their pedigree or for those who have been taught by others to be takers and not givers, to ensure fiscal security it’s imperative to work toward acquiring access to wealth designated for someone else.
Even still, targeting a birthright requires a strong stomach for dishonesty, a willingness to submit to self-delusion, and a heartless ability to ruin the future of legitimate heirs. And to do so shows blatant contempt for the aged, deludes the demented, and most probably disrespects the deceased.
Let’s face it, most thinking people know that outright thievery is against the law and that disregarding those laws could land otherwise respectable individuals in jail. Therefore, other means of access to finances that were destined for someone else need to be employed in order to enrich those who would otherwise be forced to pay their own mortgage, save for their own children’s education, and earn their own money.
Yet, the possibilities are limitless. Potential for self-enrichment includes: Elder financial abuse, inheritance theft, siphoning of funds from ATM machines, impoverishing the elderly, and vacuuming out the bank accounts of aging people so that upon their death there isn’t even enough money for rightful heirs to afford a respectable funeral, let alone be left with one drop of memoriam sweat from a parent’s brow.
With that in mind, it’s time to get down to business and figure out how to execute a successful plan where thieves with PhDs can satisfy mortgages and pay gambling debts with monies destined years before to be the only pension a friend or relative will ever see.
For Starters, Have a Plan and Be Patient
Any practiced criminal will tell you if you want a heist to succeed it requires a well thought-out plan that includes careful preparation, a map detailing the potential scene of the crime, a strong stomach for deception, and patience.
The same is true if there is money to be gleaned from a family member. A prospective plan would be to woo a parent, preferably one with an only child, away from their offspring. The goal is to isolate and do everything in your power to thwart normal parent-child affinity. In other words, position yourself to be a human barrier to God-ordained relationships.
If executed properly, a perpetrator otherwise destined to be left out of the inheritance loop has an excellent chance to enrich themselves and ultimately change their life for the better with funds designated for someone else.
Thus a good place to start would be to pick a victim, preferably one with a difficult personality and an ongoing rocky relationship with the person closest to them. The next step is to ingratiate yourself to the person and make them believe that you care more about them than their own flesh and blood does.
If they have only a son, become the daughter they never had. If a daughter stands in the way of your winning a mini-lottery, become every mother’s son. If willing to assume a gender-neutral position, it’s possible become both a daughter and son.
Find the elderly person’s weak area and work it. If they’re vain, compliment them; if they cook, make a fuss over their food; if it is an aged woman, place her portrait in a central location on your mantle; if they need to be needed, allow them to help you. To up the ante, if you can throw a puppy or an adorable child into the mix, all the better.
Practice Duplicity and Disingenuous Neutrality
Duplicity and disingenuous neutrality is key. It’s tricky, but in order to be successful it’s imperative to play both sides of the fence, appear impartial, and remain friends with both the victim and their designated heir. The trick is to encourage the target to see you as a trusted confidante. That way you can keep everyone off kilter, which works well if the rightful heir and their parent’s family dynamic includes occasional disagreement.
In fact, that’s all the better – if you smile, agree with everyone, listen, and don’t say too much, you can gain the trust of the dolts, and then when you’re actually transferring funds from one bank account into your own it will take awhile before anyone is the wiser.
If a person planning to steal an inheritance maneuvers family disagreements with friendly finesse, it places them in the perfect position to spot exactly the right time to make a move on the coveted money.
However, there is a delicate balance needed when exploiting family disagreements. You have to be clever enough to agree with both sides while still appearing to be unbiased, just in case the day comes where you’re dragged into court. That way no one can accuse you of speaking harshly against the person whose life savings you filched.
Moreover, and maybe most importantly, the duplicity/disingenuous neutrality ploy is especially effective if one or both of the parties you plan to rob are trusting and honest. Carefully monitor for signs of inordinate trust on the part of the person doing the bequeathing as well as naïve faith on the part of the appropriate recipient of those funds.
Details light the way. For instance, if the rightful heir is the type to lock the doors and windows of their home – beware – this could indicate the person in line to inherit the money you plan to steal is probably the distrustful type. However, if the unsuspecting dupe is overly generous or leaves his or her wallet on the front seat of the car, it’s unlikely the person about to lose their inheritance will be suspicious until it’s too late.
Become a Master of Self-Delusion
Self-delusion is critical to success. Truth is, if you bide your time, luck may come your way unexpectedly, and if it does it’s always better to prepare beforehand by looking for any and every possible excuse to convince yourself that you’re entitled to what belongs to someone else. Any guilt, shame, or uncertainty about the moral turpitude of taking what isn’t yours should be rationalized in your mind to the point where it actually becomes the right thing to do.
If remorse rises to the surface, push it down by recalling hearsay accusations against the original heir. Call up every possible scenario, true or untrue, that justifies betrayal and thievery. For good measure, if there is a husband or a wife of the rightful heir you can pull into the fray and falsely accuse, do so. Above all, don’t check facts or put things into the proper perspective. Instead, categorize gossip and slander in your mind in a way that justifies you coming out on top.
If a perpetrator should happen to have involved a child in the deception and is feeling a little weak – don’t worry – just call to mind how expensive a college education can be. If need be, look upon your sleeping child and ask yourself whether doing what is right means more to you than your son or daughter being saddled with student loans. That should do the trick to eliminate any vestiges of regret and shame.
Inject old memories and sentimentality into the plan. Recount old stories, reaffirm lifelong relationships and every chance you get, reassure the elderly sucker that the grudge they hold towards the person or persons they gave birth to is morally valid.
Whatever you do, avoid reading the Scripture verse Micah 2:1-2, which speaks directly about those who steal from the elderly and rob inheritance from rightful heirs:
Woe to those who plan iniquity, to those who plot evil on their beds! At morning’s light they carry it out because it is in their power to do it.They covet fields and seize them, and houses, and take them. They defraud a man of his home, a fellowman of his inheritance.
Contribute to Familial Dissension
Familial dissension is integral to placing yourself in the midst of relationships that could benefit you monetarily. Which is why a tumultuous family is the most promising. Who cares if the elder is confused, mistaken, irrational, or unreasonable? The key is to agree, agree and agree. Moreover, perverting the facts is invaluable. Twisting the truth not only lays a foundation for the immoral robbery, but is also a viable contribution to your self-delusion, which should be continuously cultivated every step along the way.
In fact, if things go well, family dissension could deliver financial security to your door even before the death of the person with the large bank account. If handled properly, before anyone knows it thieves with PhDs can impoverish an elderly person, make them pay for everything from hamburgers to cab fare, drain their bank account, take any funds they’ll need for future medical care, spend their burial funds, and in the process ensure for themselves an ill-gotten future of financial security.
Cultivating or agreeing with familial dissension could help a perpetrator circumvent the uncomfortable feeling of attending the reading of a will when the rightful heirs find out they’re disowned and are left heartbroken, shocked, and devastated.
If at all possible, it would be advantageous while the elder is still living to convince them to ‘make it legal’ by changing their will, disavowing offspring, handing over power of attorney, bestowing the title of health care proxy and estate executor, and, above all, writing down and entrusting bank account numbers and ATM passwords.
That way when the estate is drained, if and when the rightful heir contests the will there won’t be an asset to claim or even a viable will to contest. That sort of preplanning could ultimately eliminate pesky surrogate court cases and could place you ahead of the curve before things get ugly.
Sloppiness would include discontinuing communication with the rightful heir while impoverishing their parent and ripping off the heritage of a blameless person.
To avoid sloppiness it’s imperative to remain upbeat, practice being friendly, and whenever possible use pet names like ‘Cuz’ and ‘Hon’ so that the person who trusts you and thinks you’re their friend won’t become wary at an inopportune time.
To keep it neat, if possible move the person whose money you’re stealing into your own home. Set them up in a room with no heat and no place to cook, and for good measure give them a cat to keep them company. If a small child is helping to keep them engaged, make life-size posters of the cherubic little face and plaster them all around the residence.
That way if the old geezer should waver, or if the face of their own son or daughter should come to mind, the prey will be distracted from beloved memories and readjust their affections in the direction of the kid with the missing front teeth in the communion outfit.
If a close family member is becoming suspicious, find a way to regain their trust with actions like placing Mom or Dad’s medications in brightly colored containers, tossing out safety pin-secured bras, and quickly purchasing underwear that fits. To quell distrust while a son or daughter is there for a luncheon date, ask Mom if she wants her muumuu laundered.
Make sure to tie up legal loose ends. If at all possible, time the transfer of funds for when the elder’s health is in serious decline. That way, with any luck, it won’t drag on too long before Auntie dies, and then you can clink champagne glasses with the very family members who unwittingly helped you pull off the big heist.
Be willing to fight for what’s not yours
This is where the rubber meets the road. After pilfering the funds, temporarily set aside about $75,000 for possible legal fees that may come about after family members realize their parent has been impoverished and their inheritance stolen. And for God’s sake, buy yourself an unscrupulous shyster lawyer.
In the meantime, get your story straight. This is where every conversation you’ve ever had during your years of duplicity and disingenuous neutrality will come in handy. If the rightful heir ever confided in you, use those conversations against that trusting person.
If familial dissension includes an unreasonable parent, a good idea is to glean information from every confrontation between parent and child, regardless of how irrational or untrue. If Mom lies, find a way to make lies sound credible. If Dad has a propensity to be mean-spirited, at least in your own mind, transform cruelty into sainthood.
Above all, exploit confidences and use them as weapons against the person who should really be inheriting their parent’s estate. Use every piece of information you can gather to justify Mom or Dad bequeathing their life savings to you and make the original heir – regardless of how innocent – appear to be a complete bastard.
Be ready to go to court, besmirch the reputation of whomever necessary, and grip what isn’t yours in your money-grubbing claws and simply refuse to let go.
Do not let sad stories of destitute and sick loved ones in need of care soften your stance…remain firm. Do not worry about the fact that the money you have was originally designated for the health care and funeral of the person you robbed. Keep telling yourself, “Too late.”
If summoned to court, bring witnesses. Don’t worry if those witnesses despised the person you robbed; have them speak glowingly of the person they professed to hate. Bring corny staged pictures, and if possible, to garner more sympathy, march in people hobbling on crutches. But above all, stick to your story.
When innocent relatives are called to the witness stand to defend themselves against things that didn’t happen, avoid eye contact, take notes, and keep calm by remembering the money is in your bank account and not theirs.
Throughout the proceedings, hope and pray that if the person whose money you’ve stolen is still alive, they’ll die soon. That way, maybe the grieving family will cobble together the money to bury their loved one, and then out of sheer grief and disgust decide to forget the whole thing.
And, just think, if the inevitable should happen, you’re home free. You’ve successfully bankrupted an elderly person in a time of need, and after their death stolen the inheritance of the rightful heir. However, most importantly, you’ve devastated lives and memories and successfully accomplished meeting your highly justifiable and well-executed financial goal.
Now stop wasting time and get to work!